The Fake it to Make it Theory

*Has been published in University of Exeter's own newspaper, "Exeposé".

No matter who you are, how confident, how independent or how optimistic, change will always be a daunting obstacle that will loom in every aspect of our lives. Personally, although the butterflies that I encounter with every new and unfamiliar move or event are powered by an excitement for the opportunity and experience that may lay ahead, they are also laced with a fear of the unknown. September has seen Fresher’s Week come and go and October has brought new and returning students into a routine of several cups of coffee alongside their 9 am lectures. However, as a new student, I was apprehensive as to how easy it would be to not fall into the trap of the pressure to “make friends for life” in the first few weeks of being enrolled at university.

Whenever I’ve felt nervous or anxious I have been in the past, I’ve almost never failed to put my theory into practice - the Fake It to Make It theory. This theory unearths the idea that regardless of how nervous or overwhelmed you are, by masking these emotions with self assurance and optimism, not only through thoughts but also through clothing, hair, make up and even music, your confidence will begin to rise and the initial emotions you felt will begin to fade as the materialism brings you the tenacity you need to thrive in stressful or new places. However, as I explore my theory more, I begin to question whether the best way to get through events is to mask how I feel. Had I used it during the Fresher’s Week events, I most likely would’ve been sucked into the appealing idea of trying to be funny, fashionable and entertaining all the time - attempting to be the friend that everyone wants to have. Although this may work for some people, it becomes draining when you want to talk about the worries or queries that you have and feel as though you need to put a brave face on. In these moments, masking how you feel is one of the worst things you could do - talk to someone about it and let yourself become slightly more vulnerable. It is these times that ultimately bring people closer together.

The Fake It to Make it theory comes in handy with situations such as a job interview, an exam or public speaking when you need the boost of any kind of positive emotion possible to help you through a nerve-racking event. However, although the theory will remain close to my heart - and will no doubt be used time and time again - I have become aware of how vital it is that we stay true to ourselves and don’t feel any kind of pressure, especially in an environment that is, or will become, a second home to many, to change for anyone or anything. There is enough change happening as it is and you are so much better off embracing what makes you who you are and what you want to be.

Feel free to contact me if you have any questions or thoughts on what has been discussed x